I brushed on this topic with body positivity, but I think weight loss is a subject worthy of focus all on its own. Despite what some people may think, weight loss isn’t easy. It’s not just about quitting junk food and getting off the couch, things I heard more than was strictly helpful. Weight loss must, before anything else, be considered a mindset.

I’ve tried countless things to lose weight throughout my life. Fad diets, silly contraptions that swore it would make you shed pounds by doing nothing, weight loss pills, and conventional diet and exercise. Nothing worked. I wanted to be thinner, but every time, I ended up quitting when I stepped on the scale and saw my weight go up, even as I sacrificed things I loved in pursuit of a goal I began to believe impossible.

That all changed seven months ago.

So many things happened to me all at once that it felt like a dam in my mind cracked. I was struggling every day. Wishing I simply wouldn’t wake up in the morning, feeling the crushing ache in my chest when I inevitably did. I half-starved myself in the wake of my emotional turmoil – something I would strongly advise against. But eventually, I began to pick up the shattered pieces of my soul, piecing them back together like a mosaic – creating something so much more beautiful than before.

I discovered strength in myself when I had always thought myself weak. I believed myself useless but uncovered talents hidden away in myself, collecting dust for untold years. With this newfound internal power, I found a path forward – one that would require not just making my mind healthier, but my body.

Truthfully, I didn’t embark on this journey alone. I found a home in the most unlikely of places. TikTok. I had remained largely averse to social media for most of my life, aside from a brief foray into MySpace back in my college days, but with my newfound loneliness, I needed to fill my daily silence with something. Thus, I turned to short-form videos to while away the empty hours.

It was on this platform that I discovered a whole new world. People who were so similar to me! People who were dealing with the very same things I was, but they were doing so on camera, for the world to see. They ignored the judgment and hate that I had hidden away from, and honestly discussed their struggles. Many even filmed themselves exercising while offering encouragement to their fans! Suddenly, a new shape began to form in my shattered soul mosaic. I can do this too!

It was also on TikTok that I discovered nutritionists, doctors, and professional trainers who gave away advice for free. I listened to people who gave real guidance based on science and experience, learned how to ignore fear-mongers, and began to take a few, toddling steps toward becoming who I always wanted to be. Someone confident, capable, and most importantly of all, happy.

Since that time, seven months ago, I’ve lost eighty pounds. I didn’t starve myself, and I didn’t work myself to the bone. I didn’t even have to give up the things I love to eat. It started with just a few small changes. Eating a small salad before eating the rest of my lunch to help fill me up. Measuring the pasta first, before dumping it into the pot (and discovering the wonders of protein pasta didn’t hurt!). Focusing on adding to my diet, rather than subtracting.

From there, I downloaded an app to help me track my calories. I determined what I thought would be a good goal weight – still obese, but something I believed would be achievable. My goal now wasn’t to be skinny, but to be healthy. A small, but vital difference to all the other times I tried to lose weight.

It wasn’t just about calories though. I began to add in exercise. Little things at first. Lifting a small weight while I watched TV at night or finding ways to sneak a few extra steps into my day. Those little things led to bigger things. Taking walks, getting heavier weights, even just marching in place. I’m obviously not going to be running a marathon anytime soon, but as I added each thing to the list, I felt just a bit better.

Weight loss, real weight loss, isn’t about making huge, sweeping changes. It’s about a hundred tiny ones that you piece together into a beautiful piece of artwork that’s greater than the sum of its parts. That is my great discovery. It’s impossible to move a mountain in an instant, but it’s nearly effortless to move a thousand pebbles over a thousand days.